What Flirting With Women Actually Stands For?

What is Flirting?

Flirting means conveying sexual interest (more than what is considered as social curtsy) in a woman. Flirting is all about subcommunication. You should INSTANTLY start that sexual communication with a woman the moment you approach her. If not, let her be comfortable and be ready to accept that. That shows the girl special attention she so requires (her need for validation) and since it is done in a cocky way (shows you’re high status). It is essentially…

F = HV + SI + ST

where, F = flirting, HV = High Value, SI = Sexual Intent and ST = Sexual Tension

Flirting can be of TWO ways:

One, attraction-based flirting and another, value-based flirting

and in both the cases, it normally starts with a more acceptable level of interest leading to a more sexually aggressive form.

Attraction-based Flirting 

In the first case, what you just do is go and start playfully messing with the girl where she knows that it’s an indication of your special interest towards her. She knows what you are doing but it piques up her interest since you are fun and making her feel good. She can also take you on a ride, because she knows you are in a kidding mood and chicks love to flirt. So, she doesn't take you seriously or take it to her heart. Remember, you have to MESS with her huge (challenge her, that is, push her, to bring that sexual tension), just PLAY with her and ESCALATE (pull her) real fast. If you see that she is getting uncomfortable, just change to comfort phase a bit and again, return back to this. Your body language, facial expressions or voice tonality expresses that. But you are building up the tension. This creates some INSTANT ATTRACTION. But the only problem is that she focuses on the feeling and not on YOU. She wants you for the sexual tension that you generate, not for the person that you are. One important note here, if you are looking for same night lays, cut the deep rapport phase. Just work her up with your continuous teasing, minute takeaways coupled with heavy sexual escalation (heavy flirting) with a non-needy attitude.  That’s it. You go to attraction to comfort plus attraction to comfort plus seduction in this case.

This is more of a psychological game. You are TRYING here. This is basically ambiguous, where you force her to believe something and then steal that frame from her - the Frame Stealer according to Scott Patterson's book "Flirt Mastery". This is basically when you have some value, and should be done SPARINGLY. So, this should be done when she's indulging in you, that means, when she's already attracted to you. This is a great way to keep up the challenge, tension or sexual charge in the interaction.

In the playful flirting, you are working up her buying temperature and she feels attraction at that moment. It is transitory. In this way, you are signalling the chick that you are up for some fun. She will not really depend on you but she will feel very attracted to you. You are that bad boy she loves!

Game Plan #1. This is proper for women who might be hot but are still insecure inside, and seek validation, which never seem to be enough for them. But if she is getting validated from others, she will forget this surface attraction very soon. They fall for any guy who is cocky and pushes them away or snubs them down. Don't expect any solid relationships from them and there's a huge risk of flaking as well. Same night lays are very easy with this technique. Sometimes, it leads to even deeper attraction, after you get physical with her and she gets real pleasure from it, and that becomes a source of validation from her.

Value-based Flirting 

But in the other case, what you do is you just enter in a normal casual way from a position of power, focus on DEEP RAPPORT mainly. Your energy towards her tells her that you are sexually interested in her, but you are not trying or over-validating her. She can feel that you like her, but you are not acting like you are trying at all. The trick to this flirting game is by not seeking rapport at all, in fact, being a bit of rapport-break at the same time. Sometimes, a strong display of MALE SEXUALITY is a perceived HIGH VALUE. You just go in and start qualifying her, giving her the time to build connection and comfort. Your perceived value is already heating her up. You are just radiating that feeling to her. Sometimes, verbal validation of her like a compliment or showing her attention with little thoughtful acts, will just charge up that sexual vibe, when done as a reward to her compliance to your value. The best thing about this is that she falls in loves with you as a person. This is the way how relationships are formed mainly and maintained years after years. There is a sense of mutual desire from both sides but no one acts on it all the time. It is slow but it is more stable, because you get the time to build the rapport. How the sexual tension is created and maintained? Through sexual state transfer. And then you might be talking passionately about daily stuffs, getting to know each other and in no hurry. But she feels that sexual charge in the atmosphere. In this case, what you are doing is building value in the eyes of the girl. Remember, VALUE equals DEEP RAPPORT, apart from your social status factors. It’s very subtle. It builds up over the time, when you meet her and escalate slowly yet consistently. It's not like in the previous case, where she was acting on a spiked up momentary emotion. You were turning it ON and striking the iron while it is hot. It's highly probably that these fast lays with the previous flirting will lead to flaking and a fool's mate situation later on. But here, each and every step should be very subtle yet sexually charged until both of you are TOO close and dependable on each other to go back! Just have a good time with her being a bit playfully challenging now and then, give her time to know you, trust you and depend upon you. BE ALPHA, be the MAN for her and just act like she's already there for you. You can do it any time you want. You are more about spending time with her, just like couples do. It is because deep inside, she is getting attracted to you, but on a conscious level, she should be feeling comfortable as well. So, the time given to her to get into the state and also get comfortable to you! In this case, since she knows what is happening and since consciously she is convinced that you are a high value guy and admires you, she goes along all the way. It's mutual attraction at its best.

Game Plan #2. This game is more suitable for quality very beautiful women who have men fawning around them, or trying to be cheesy around them. They don't need validation. They lack the real men, with the sexual charge. They want a man they can depend on, they don't want fun actually. But sometimes, the direct approach will be thwarted by some women in the first place and you cannot work your mojo over them. If you start with being playful and she smells validation-seeking in that, she will instantly reject you. If it is done with some power, then it creates massive attraction with the younger and more adventurous girls. If the woman wants a relationship but very obsessive with her social value, then your rapport-breaking DIRECT SEXUAL approach will stand out, though it also works with the young, open and adventurous girls as well. But when you are real and approach here with a Hi, Hello or just cool compliment, you show that you are confident and real INSTANTLY, two very attractive aspects of personality. You open with this kind of flirting style, you better be looking for a relationship, because this is how relationships happen. You straight go to comfort plus seduction in this game.

This is more of a metaphysical game. You are NOT TRYING here. Here, the mystery and rapport-breaking attitude is what attracts the woman. This is when you play hard to get and build your value a bit. Of course, if you believe strongly that you have value and can emanate that kind of inner power, then the girl will feel so too. But just imagine that you convey that kind of confidence and you start to seek rapport by telling jokes and being overtly playful with her right from the start. That is not congruent! You lose the perceived value and the girl loses the attraction. So, never start by seeking rapport. As Scott Patterson calls it, "The Rapport Breaker". Open her like that. As she qualifies herself, give in slowly and go deep with her.

At this point, I think you should check my favorite Vin Di Carlo's article on Attraction and Value.

Something to note here...

What's common in both these kinds of flirting with women?

First, in either of the flirting styles, you are the Alpha male. You have a strong reality, that is, confidence level. You don't doubt yourself and you are completely sure of what will happen. You DON'T seek approval or rapport at all.

Second, the first flirting women game is real FAST and UPHEAVAL-like. The second one is more SLOW and giving the time to make it work on the woman.

Should you use the first or the second?


Well, to be honest, it depends on the woman and situation. Sometimes, when the woman is a bit prudish and normally of a shy kind, she would be more comfortable with the second type of flirting style. If she is a dynamic woman, very social and highly adventurous, she will like the first sort of flirting. If you have plenty of time to invest in one woman, go for the second type of flirting style. If you see that you have to attract her and make her react within a few hours, go with the 1st type. But if you get time to work on a more fast woman, then the second flirting type will work. If you don't get time to work on that shy prude, you would better ramp up and bring out her WILD side out.

Not only that, it depends on how you are as a person. If you want a smooth and unforced flirting game, go for the second one, where it is more or less smooth. There's less drama. But in the former case, it's more of drama in there. You give the girl a rollercoaster ride!

I'm a very dominant person and to be honest, I don't like to wait that much. Whenever I try to give her some time, I either get too manipulating or lose my sexual charge. I always prefer DIRECT GAME. It makes me feel alive. When I go in, it's always my way.

Note: I updated it for about 6 times now. It's such a vast and complicated field. And as those pickup artists boast, we work like a mad scientist at the end of the day!

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