Dating Question:
I approached a girl and we hit it off really well. Got her
number, got to go out a couple of times with her, and she was
really flirty (touched my chest and put her head on my shoulder
a lot). I thought it was all good.
However, being an "unnatural," after about a month, I told her
how I felt and asked her for a kiss. Yes, you read that right,
She said "no" and proceeded to tell me how I'm such a sweet &
nice guy, etc. Normally, girls would just drop all contact in
this kind of situation.
However, this girl is different, and she continues to ask me out
to go do stuff with her, and when we're in bars with a billion guys
hitting on her, she would reject them or give them fake numbers.
She is single still (in fact, she's been single for about two
years -- no, she's not gay), this I know for a fact.
It's not like she doesn't have other friends, but she appears to
really, genuinely enjoy my company.
So the million-dollar question is, how do I get her? Am I
beyond hope now that I'm classified as a friend? Can I turn
this situation around? Logically, I should move on, but she
really is one in a billion because she has ALL of the qualities
I've been looking for in a long-term relationship.
Please advise.
Thanks,
- Floyd
>>>>>> MY REPLY:
Ouch. I can't believe you ASKED for a kiss. I want to punch you
in the face right now.
Let's just do it virtually... ready? Brace yourself...
KA-POW!
Sorry, dude. I had to.
First of all, you KNOW you shouldn't have done that. So let's
not cry over spilled milk.
What worries me is the fact that it TOOK YOU A MONTH TO GO FOR
THE KISS.
See, attraction happens FAST, not by pining and planning.
Furthermore, when you get a woman attracted to you, she then
has a reasonable expectation that you are going to capitalize
on that attraction and make a move.
As you may recall, a woman can be completely, utterly attracted
to you, and still will not take the steps to escalate. It's a
societal thing, in other words she must not have any "hard
fault" for the escalation.
She'll make it as obvious as possible that she's giving you the
green light, but ultimately YOU have to pull the trigger there
pal.
Once a woman is willing to get physical with you, it's like a
window opens. And it will only STAY open for a short period of
time. If you fail to escalate things within that time
period, the window will close.
At this point, she will be forced to think one of two things:
1. You are a spineless wimp, or
2. You are a homosexual.
Not that those are BAD things. Girls love to have spineless wimps
and/or homosexuals as friends. They are great to go shopping
with, or to call up when they need help moving, or as a shoulder
to cry on when some player jerk breaks their heart.
That's your future with this chick. Congratulations!
Next time you get involved with a chick, sack up and pull the
trigger, preferably on the FIRST MEET UP.
What can you do to save this situation? Unfortunately, not much.
Sigh.
If I were you, I'd probably take this angle:
I'd continue to be her friend, then I'd go out and sleep with as
many of the HOTTEST women I could find. This would serve two
purposes.
First, it would help me to eliminate vestiges of neediness and
"one-itis" I had with regard to the intended girl. Because
right now, you're reeking of desperation. You may not feel that
way, but trust me, SHE DOES.
Look, I'm sure you think this girl is literally "one in a billion"
right now, but trust me, she's not. It's the brain chemicals
talking. You have to trust me here, I know what I'm talking
about, all too well I'm afraid.
I'm sure she's truly great, but what you have to understand is
that, by putting her up on a pedestal, you're screwing up your
subcommunications and you are actually HURTING your chances with
her.
SECONDLY, by sleeping with other hot girls, you will gain
social proof and possibly even make her jealous. Bring these
girls around her, after all, you're just friends, right? Show
her just what a "sweet, nice guy" you really are.
This is a super powerful technique, which will make her realize
just what she's missing. Mwahahah.
Of course, this is assuming that you can pull the trigger and
you won't be a total wimp when it comes to picking up these
other girls. GROW SOME BALLS and take a chance.
What's the worst that could happen? You get rejected? Who cares?
Besides, if you're gaining attraction (which it seems like you
are), you won't get rejected. Push the limits. Remember,
you don't know where the edge is until you've been OVER it._______________________________________________________
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