From Jeffy (Real Social Dynamics) -
So the linchpin of my teaching methodology is Attraction = Value.
My goal on program is to help the client understand this on a very
deep level, and then learn easy ways to convey as much value as
One of my most popular articles on RSDNation back in the day was the
cheat codes articlebecause it highlighted 3 of the most high
leverage techniques for conveying value and building attraction
quickly.
I also off-handedly mentioned that there were probably 30 different
ways to convey high value, which resulted in me receiving dozens of
emails asking what the other techniques were, even with people
offering me financial remuneration.
So back to Boston, I was explaining that when you approach a girl
directly, with strong intent and focus, most of these high value
modalities (at least 30) are byproducts of the approach.
The problem is that they are incredibly subtle.
The way I explain "alpha-ness" is by using the 2 examples of an
alpha wolf and a silverback gorilla.
You see, both are alpha, yet one defines my game, while the other,
is incredibly try hard.
The alpha wolf needs to convey his alpha-ness through growling and
looking mean. It is energy intensive,there is no assumption.
While the silverback gorilla just chills back, squatting at the top
of the mountain with his harem, making the bitches feed him grapes
and shit.
It's fully assumed that he's the man.
Yet if something goes down, some foreign male intruder enters his
territory, or some other danger arises, he's prepared to step up,
usually only requiring a lifting of his chin and iceberg laser eyes,
the threat is quickly extinguished.
That's the type of high value traits I rely on, subtle assumption.
This is hard for many guys to grasp, because it's beneath the
surface and requires a great deal ofself trust.
Each modality of subtle high value may only increase your overall
attractiveness by 1%.
1% here, 1% there, it adds up, leading to incredibly high levels of
attractive, high value, alpha manliness interweaved together into an
unwavering, titanium core confidence.
Sounds pretty cool, doesn't it?
So without further ado, here are 35 ways to convey subtle high
value.
1. Non-submissive eye contact
-no darting of the eyes when you look at her, no breaking eye
contact first.
2. Vocal Projection
-the loudest guy in a group is usually the most comfortable,
unstifled, and highest value.
3. Commanding and Challenging (Breaking Rapport) Tonality
-commanding authoritative tonality puts you in the same category as
other high value people.
-it gets her to respond in a qualifying tone, which subconsciously
she rationalizes that she must like you because she only talks with
people like that if they are high value.
4. Unreactivity
-not socially pinging off of the girl. Your state is not dependent
on her reaction to you. Be the yacht.
5. Who's reacting to who more
-who's laughing quicker at the others jokes, who's more into the
conversation, who's giving subtle indicators that they like the
other. The one reacting more is lower value, similar to...
6. Who's more in their head, who's not
-this is the same as above but internally, things like vomiting
words gets her trying to piece together the conversation. The more
non sequitar, the more she is in her head trying to understand what
you are saying, this is why it is so important to...
7. Lead the conversation
-you have control of what is being said. I call it channeling the
river, steering the conversation in the direction that moves the
interaction forward as opposed to just being a little bitch and
talking about whatever just so you can keep the conversation alive.
8. Good body language
-when you feel comfortable and confident you are naturally going to
take up more space and have good body language, for similar reasons
it is important to have a larger...
9. Physical presence
-guys that are alpha just take up more space. You can see in a
group the most alpha guy might have 2-3 feet of space between him
and the next guy, where as the more stifled insecure person takes up
very little space. This is also noticeable in how much physical
movement you use, hand gestures and just ease of movement in general.
10. Bringing your state from within
-similar to 4 and 5, you aren't relying on anyone or the environment
to pump your emotional state, you feel good because of your own
awesomeness, and the law of state transfermakes everyone happy
around you as well. This relates to...
11. Self amusement
-the opposite of self amusement is reaction seeking. Reaction
seeking is neediness and a low value trait. Self amusement is
purely for your own enjoyment because you don't care about anyone
else and just bathe in your own awesomeness, you do not seek
reactions to make yourself feel good.
12. Stating your opinion
-a high value person is more likely to state their opinion, purely
because it comes from them, as opposed to a low value person who
doesn't think anyone cares what they have to say.
13. Statements not questions
-statements are always more authoritative than questions, and who
knows, you might give a cold read that is accurate, you tell her she
looks like a nurse and she is, and she'll think it's fate that you
two met.
14. Lowering the bar for what you talk about
-againvomit words. The more bullshit things you say, the more it
conveys that you don't care about the interaction, or the girls
response to what you say. It shows that you talk to girls like her
all the time, or probably have a couple on speed dial.
15. Conveying intent
-by showing that you aren't afraid to convey intent, it conveys that
you are willing to be vulnerable and put your personality on the
line, something only someone with high self esteem would feel
comfortable doing.
16. Commanding attention
-don't compromise your value just to keep her talking. If she isn't
looking at you, call her out. If she is on her phone, call her out.
A high value person assumes that when he is talking people listen.
If there is a dissonance, he takes action.
17. Being as comfortable, or more comfortable than the girl
-no leaning in to hear her, no standing while she is sitting. Get
comfortable, relax, she should be excited to talk to someone as cool
as you, not the other way around.
18. Entitlement
-youfeel entitled to the girl. You fully assume that she is yours,
and you are not emotionally affected by any response she has towards
you either positive or negative. The byproduct of this is...
19. Indifference
-again, you are emotionally indifferent to her reactions towards you.
This conveys a level of abundance, in the fact that you probably
have other girls, so she doesn't have as much value to you.
20. Lack of outcome dependence
-18 and 19 explain why you have no emotional reaction to anything
she says, and this has inherent social proof/value.
21. Authentic conversation
-I talked about this last week in the spectrum of authenticity
article. The more authentic and real you are, the more vulnerable
you are and the more balls it takes.
22. Full frontal positioning
-none of that old skool bullshit about body rocking and over the
shoulder openers. Go in direct, straight in there, face to face,
and make yourself vulnerable.
23. Passing shit/congruence tests
-Alex used to say that 80% of "natural" game is passing congruence
tests, and every time you pass a test, attraction goes up.
-remember congruence tests are more than the obvious "Is that your
pickup line?!" there are also the more subtle ones like not making
good eye contact, staring at her phone, or initial unreceptivity at
the beginning of an interaction. The best way to respond is by...
24. Being unapologetic
-when you go through life by your own standards, you don't try to
please people, you just tell it like it is. Some girl gives you
shit, you call her out, people don't listen,you tell them to pay
attention. This is because...
25. Don't identify yourself based on other peoples opinions
-do you see how these are byproducts of each other, somewhat
overlapping? This is why it is all so powerful, it creates a web of
beliefs, or a rigid unwavering belief system.
26. Escalation
-more leading here. Having that detachment from the outcome to the
point where you aren't emotionally affected if you go to escalate
and don't get it.
-another way of saying this is to cultivate an...
27. Abundance mindset
-now I've had my fair share of virgins on bootcamp, and they always
ask how they can have an abundance mindset if they obviously aren't
doing very well in the success with women category.
-but it's not abundance directly with women, it's abundance in the
fact that you have trust in your skillset to get another girl if it
doesn't work out with the one in front of you.
28. Congruence
-who's frame is stronger, yours or hers?
-whoever holds the frame unwaveringly wins, and is more congruent in
how they act, knows themselves better, and trusts their own judgment
over others.
29. Non-judgemental
-being judgmental of her sluttiness, or ANYTHING sort of judgment,
is a sign of naivety and of someone who hasn't seen much of the
world or experienced life.
-this is why travel is a great way to develop a stronger frame, life
experience makes you much more...
30. Comfortable in your own skin
-this is also why as you get older, as long as you are working on
yourself, you only get more attractive. You've experienced more in
life, and when something you don't expect happens in the interaction,
you deal with it accordingly, without anxiety, without stress.
31. Walking through the world with ease
-someone that has his shit together isn't going to be stressed.
Betas are stressed in life, worried about surviving and pissed they
aren't the alpha, while the alpha gorilla just chills back and lives
the good life.
32. Standing out, be unique
-society conditions us to be average, to be beta. Throw away the
stripey shirts, throw away the khakis, get a little sex appeal.
33. Being comfortable with silence
-not feeling like you need to keep talking if you have nothing to
say, you are just as cool chilling with your own awesomeness, when
the conversation stops for a moment, it gives you an opportunity to
remember how cool you are.
33. Dominance
-what is dominance? The opposite is submission, and therefore
proactively leading the interaction leads to her submitting, one way
that you can show that you aren't afraid to take a risk is by...
34. Leading
-to lead is to take a risk, if you go for it, let's say moving her
to the bar, you might not get it, and a low value person, someone
not comfortable with themselves, would be afraid to try.
35. Assuming attraction
-there is inherent social proof based on how you interact with the
girl. If you are interacting with her in a way that you are
assuming she likes you, she will deduce that other girls that look
like her usually like you as well.
---
So how do you use this list?
You don't want to try and micromanage all of these things.
The goal is to just understand that being high value creates
attraction through all these different channels and manifestations
of your mindset.
Therefore you don't have to worry about doing anything SPECIAL.
Stop worrying about being more attractive, creating attraction.
Keep working on YOURSELF.
If I could boil it down to one thing, it would begetting more
comfortable in your own skin.
As I said before it's a subtle game.
Don't think Tommy Lee, think Tony Williams.
Be the jazz drummer, no superfluous motion, efficiency in action, be
the yacht._______________________________________________________
And wait! Check out my dating product reviews...loads of info on the latest PUAs and Dating Gurus there.
If you really liked the post, share it with others below.
No comments:
Post a Comment