You know,
Years back when I first started dating, I had pretty good luck
in "finding" women, but TERRIBLE in KEEPING them.
I found myself wondering why do women break up with men, anyway?
- Is it my looks?
- Is it because I had no money?
- Is it because of my boring, lousy-ass job?
Now tell me if one of these situations sound familiar and
whether it has happened to you before...
DATING DISASTER #1:
I'd go out on a date with a girl, and everything would seem to
be going pretty cool. She was digging me, I was digging her.
And there was usually no problem getting that kiss at the end,
once I got past the butterflies in my stomach.
Then, I'd call her back the next day (don't women want that?)
and I'd never get her, just her voicemail. I'd leave a message,
telling her how I had a great time and wanted to see her again.
And then she wouldn't call.
I'd wait for a day or two and try her back again, and if I
finally did get her, the conversation would go something like
this:
ME: "Hey..."
HER: "Hey." (Not very excited. I'd feel my stomach sink.)
ME: "Uh, I just thought I'd call and say hello. See how you
were doing..."
HER: "Oh, yeah, I'm doing great. Look, I can't really talk
right now - I'm hanging out with a friend."
ME: "Oh, uh, okay. Call you later?"
HER: "Sure thing. Talk to you later..."
*** CLICK ***
And then later on I'd get an email about how she thinks we
should "just be friends."
Haih.
:(
DATING DISASTER #2:
You go out on a date with a girl, and things seem great.
You go out on a 2nd and 3rd date, and everything seems pretty
fun and cool. Heavy duty makeout sessions...
Ah, it's bliss.
Then, you decide it's time for the "BIG MOVE(TM)."
You invite her over for dinner at YOUR house.
Candles.
Music.
Wine.
Good food.
You're all set.
You've even got a condom under the mattress for the "right
moment."
Sure enough, she comes over. But you feel a strange "vibe" as
she comes in and gives you a peck on the cheek. Things are
a little cooler than before.
You ignore it and go on with the dinner. After the food and
wine is done, you go to the living room to chill and hang
out on the couch.
You try to get her warmed up, start a little kissing, but
she's not as into it as before. She might even throw out the
"it's my time of the month" excuse.
Before you know it, she's got an "early day tomorrow," and
she has to get going.
I mean, you don't want to admit to yourself that this
happened, but it did, and you keep wondering...
WHAT THE HELL DID I DO WRONG?
And then I'd immediately wonder...
WHY do women break up with men like this?
It's frustrating, f@#@*@#!!
PISSER!!
Looking back, in retrospect, I have now come to realize
that dating a woman is kind of like driving a car. It takes some
"work" to get it started and moving, but once you get it up to
speed, you want to just let it COAST under its own power.
You want to click the "cruise control" and just let it
riiiiide...
One of the problems here is that dating and attraction has
no "cruise control."
And the other problem is that if you don't keep your foot
on that gas, you will slow down to nothing when the first
hill comes along.
Think of dating "gas" as being the EXCITEMENT and FUN you
put into it.
That's all a woman needs to keep feeling that "spark" with you.
I'm going to come back to this one.
Now, let's answer the BIG QUESTION:
Why do women break up with men?
REASON #1) She found another guy.
Well, this really isn't a reason the way most guys think it is.
You see, a woman doesn't want another guy if the one she's
with is doing the right things and challenging her.
(Mind you -- we're assuming that the woman is stable and
doesn't have a major character flaw that leads her to cheating.)
I found out - the hard way - that a woman has NO problem cheating
on her boyfriend if she feels that he's not living up to his end
of the deal.
Meaning, he isn't doing all the things the new guy is to make
her feel unique and attractive.
She will feel JUSTIFIED in cheating, in fact.
She won't even see it as cheating.
She'll see it as SELF-PRESERVATION.
I'm not trying to make women out to be evil here.
Guys do the exact same thing - just for slightly different reasons.
I'm going to talk about this again in a minute... Let's move on.
REASON #2) She's exceptionally smart and emotionally mature,
and she realizes that you're not what she's looking for in a
long term relationship.
Hmmm.
This one doesn't happen often, in my experience, even though
it really ought to.
The reality is that when I finally "got it" and understood that
you can very easily get a woman so addicted to having you
around (because you're giving her what no other guy seems to
be able to, other than the unstable "bad boys" out there),
you'll have the very real problem of women STAYING with you
even when it's not a good match.
But, as we say, that's a "High Quality" Problem, huh?
In other words, if I'm going to have a problem, that's a
good "kind" to have :)
So while I'm including this as Reason #2 here, the reality is
that it's not going to happen if you follow my strategies
for building attraction.
REASON #3) You STOPPED doing all the things that got her
attracted to you in the first place.
In other words, you let the attraction energy DIE OUT.
I could write books and books on this topic...
The fact of the matter is that guys typically put in a lot
of energy to get things "started" with a woman, don't we?
We have to approach her (tell me that isn't agony...)
We have to brave the fear of rejection...
We have to get her number...
We have to call her up and ask her out...
We have to make the plans for the date...
We have to keep escalating things until we can sleep with her...
That's a lot of work!
But we don't mind because it's the thrill of the chase.
But after you've "conquered" her, this is typically where the
average guy lets off that gas and expects the woman to take
over. And many women DO take over...
... for a time.
Eventually, though, she becomes resentful that she feels like
SHE is doing all the work, and she starts to withdraw.
Eventually, she'll either cheat, or she'll just break up
with you.
Just remember, there's ALWAYS a guy out there waiting to do
whatever it is you stopped doing to attract your woman.
Look, I'm not saying a woman is justified here, but you have
to be realistic. If you weren't doing your work at your job,
would you REALLY be surprised if your boss came to you one
day and said, "We're terribly sorry, but you haven't been
doing your duties. We've found a replacement for you.
You're fired."
Cheating sucks, and it's the most PAINFUL lesson in the world.
But when you clear away all the emotional fog, you'll usually
see that there were signs WAAAAY long ago.
There's a rule you must remember:
A woman will NOT leave a man she doesn't feel like she's
completely WON.
This is BIG time important!
I can't tell you how much that one tip has made ALL the
difference in my dating. After I learned it, women stopped
breaking up with me. Then it was MY choice to stay with her
or not.
I'm not some kind of control freak or something here, but
if there's a choice between being the guy that GETS dumped,
and the guy that DOES the dumping - I choose to be the guy
DOING the dumping.
YOU'D rather be that guy, too, yes??
So let's stop "wrongful termination" in its tracks.
Remember that if you focus on ONE area of your connection with
women, you'll eliminate about 90% of all the issues you'll ever
run into.
That one area is ENERGY:
It's *the* ESSENTIAL ingredient of your game that creates MASSIVE
attraction with women - if you know how to use it.
ENERGY.
This is the one area that many guys think of as being the
"entertainer," or the life of the party, or Mr. Excitement.
Well, this isn't true. It's actually a technique that you apply
in different WAYS and at different TIMES.
Remember, a woman's definition of "romance" is the same as a
guy's. It's simply "FUN!"
Again:
A woman will NOT leave a man she doesn't feel like she's
completely WON.
******************************
SO HERE'S MY BIG QUESTION FOR YOU TODAY...
******************************
What if you find "HER" tomorrow??
You know... "THE ONE" for you.
Do you know what to do RIGHT FROM THE VERY START so you
don't LOSE her?
> Have you ever had a woman whose interest just started to
fizzle out slowly, and after a while she just stopped being
available - and then disappeared completely?
> Have you ever been dating some chick that you thought was
INCREDIBLE... but the drama was driving you up a wall? Or
she just started taking you for granted - like you were just
a walking wallet to her...?
> Have you had a girlfriend, only to have the sex slow down
and then grind to a complete HALT, and she eventually ends up
breaking up with you?
> Have you had to dump chick after chick because she was
either weird, crazy, or just plain boring to be around?
> Are you constantly disappointed by the women you meet - and
you want to know how to find the right one for you? Without
wasting days, months, YEARS with the wrong one?
You're not alone.
I've had ALL of these things happen to me, and over the years
I've coached thousands of guys with similar problems.
You meet a girl, things get going, and then for one reason
or another (you never figure out exactly why), it all comes
to an end.
And you know what else?
It's not your fault!
Women have been "TRAINING" guys from the very first date to
shape and "mold" you into the kind of boyfriend THEY think
they can wrap around their finger. And you probably had NO
idea it was happening to you!
Women have been training guys for years...
- You leave voicemail messages and then wait for hours for
a call back...
- She gets you to take her to dinners and watch "chick
flicks..."
- She rewards you with sex when you buy her jewelry or
gifts...
- You're the contestant on HER game show!
Why don't you turn it around like THIS:
- Get her to take YOU out for dinners...
- Have her calling you up to invite you over for a late-night
"booty call..."
- Get her to setup your "guys night out" at the strip club...
- Knowing for sure that she's ignoring any other guys that hit
on her, and telling them she's taken...
- Have her show up at your work bringing you lunch - and a
little gift she bought you...
Doesn't that sound much better to you?
It does to me.
_______________________________________________________
Years back when I first started dating, I had pretty good luck
in "finding" women, but TERRIBLE in KEEPING them.
I found myself wondering why do women break up with men, anyway?
- Is it my looks?
- Is it because I had no money?
- Is it because of my boring, lousy-ass job?
Now tell me if one of these situations sound familiar and
whether it has happened to you before...
DATING DISASTER #1:
I'd go out on a date with a girl, and everything would seem to
be going pretty cool. She was digging me, I was digging her.
And there was usually no problem getting that kiss at the end,
once I got past the butterflies in my stomach.
Then, I'd call her back the next day (don't women want that?)
and I'd never get her, just her voicemail. I'd leave a message,
telling her how I had a great time and wanted to see her again.
And then she wouldn't call.
I'd wait for a day or two and try her back again, and if I
finally did get her, the conversation would go something like
this:
ME: "Hey..."
HER: "Hey." (Not very excited. I'd feel my stomach sink.)
ME: "Uh, I just thought I'd call and say hello. See how you
were doing..."
HER: "Oh, yeah, I'm doing great. Look, I can't really talk
right now - I'm hanging out with a friend."
ME: "Oh, uh, okay. Call you later?"
HER: "Sure thing. Talk to you later..."
*** CLICK ***
And then later on I'd get an email about how she thinks we
should "just be friends."
Haih.
:(
DATING DISASTER #2:
You go out on a date with a girl, and things seem great.
You go out on a 2nd and 3rd date, and everything seems pretty
fun and cool. Heavy duty makeout sessions...
Ah, it's bliss.
Then, you decide it's time for the "BIG MOVE(TM)."
You invite her over for dinner at YOUR house.
Candles.
Music.
Wine.
Good food.
You're all set.
You've even got a condom under the mattress for the "right
moment."
Sure enough, she comes over. But you feel a strange "vibe" as
she comes in and gives you a peck on the cheek. Things are
a little cooler than before.
You ignore it and go on with the dinner. After the food and
wine is done, you go to the living room to chill and hang
out on the couch.
You try to get her warmed up, start a little kissing, but
she's not as into it as before. She might even throw out the
"it's my time of the month" excuse.
Before you know it, she's got an "early day tomorrow," and
she has to get going.
I mean, you don't want to admit to yourself that this
happened, but it did, and you keep wondering...
WHAT THE HELL DID I DO WRONG?
And then I'd immediately wonder...
WHY do women break up with men like this?
It's frustrating, f@#@*@#!!
PISSER!!
Looking back, in retrospect, I have now come to realize
that dating a woman is kind of like driving a car. It takes some
"work" to get it started and moving, but once you get it up to
speed, you want to just let it COAST under its own power.
You want to click the "cruise control" and just let it
riiiiide...
One of the problems here is that dating and attraction has
no "cruise control."
And the other problem is that if you don't keep your foot
on that gas, you will slow down to nothing when the first
hill comes along.
Think of dating "gas" as being the EXCITEMENT and FUN you
put into it.
That's all a woman needs to keep feeling that "spark" with you.
I'm going to come back to this one.
Now, let's answer the BIG QUESTION:
Why do women break up with men?
REASON #1) She found another guy.
Well, this really isn't a reason the way most guys think it is.
You see, a woman doesn't want another guy if the one she's
with is doing the right things and challenging her.
(Mind you -- we're assuming that the woman is stable and
doesn't have a major character flaw that leads her to cheating.)
I found out - the hard way - that a woman has NO problem cheating
on her boyfriend if she feels that he's not living up to his end
of the deal.
Meaning, he isn't doing all the things the new guy is to make
her feel unique and attractive.
She will feel JUSTIFIED in cheating, in fact.
She won't even see it as cheating.
She'll see it as SELF-PRESERVATION.
I'm not trying to make women out to be evil here.
Guys do the exact same thing - just for slightly different reasons.
I'm going to talk about this again in a minute... Let's move on.
REASON #2) She's exceptionally smart and emotionally mature,
and she realizes that you're not what she's looking for in a
long term relationship.
Hmmm.
This one doesn't happen often, in my experience, even though
it really ought to.
The reality is that when I finally "got it" and understood that
you can very easily get a woman so addicted to having you
around (because you're giving her what no other guy seems to
be able to, other than the unstable "bad boys" out there),
you'll have the very real problem of women STAYING with you
even when it's not a good match.
But, as we say, that's a "High Quality" Problem, huh?
In other words, if I'm going to have a problem, that's a
good "kind" to have :)
So while I'm including this as Reason #2 here, the reality is
that it's not going to happen if you follow my strategies
for building attraction.
REASON #3) You STOPPED doing all the things that got her
attracted to you in the first place.
In other words, you let the attraction energy DIE OUT.
I could write books and books on this topic...
The fact of the matter is that guys typically put in a lot
of energy to get things "started" with a woman, don't we?
We have to approach her (tell me that isn't agony...)
We have to brave the fear of rejection...
We have to get her number...
We have to call her up and ask her out...
We have to make the plans for the date...
We have to keep escalating things until we can sleep with her...
That's a lot of work!
But we don't mind because it's the thrill of the chase.
But after you've "conquered" her, this is typically where the
average guy lets off that gas and expects the woman to take
over. And many women DO take over...
... for a time.
Eventually, though, she becomes resentful that she feels like
SHE is doing all the work, and she starts to withdraw.
Eventually, she'll either cheat, or she'll just break up
with you.
Just remember, there's ALWAYS a guy out there waiting to do
whatever it is you stopped doing to attract your woman.
Look, I'm not saying a woman is justified here, but you have
to be realistic. If you weren't doing your work at your job,
would you REALLY be surprised if your boss came to you one
day and said, "We're terribly sorry, but you haven't been
doing your duties. We've found a replacement for you.
You're fired."
Cheating sucks, and it's the most PAINFUL lesson in the world.
But when you clear away all the emotional fog, you'll usually
see that there were signs WAAAAY long ago.
There's a rule you must remember:
A woman will NOT leave a man she doesn't feel like she's
completely WON.
This is BIG time important!
I can't tell you how much that one tip has made ALL the
difference in my dating. After I learned it, women stopped
breaking up with me. Then it was MY choice to stay with her
or not.
I'm not some kind of control freak or something here, but
if there's a choice between being the guy that GETS dumped,
and the guy that DOES the dumping - I choose to be the guy
DOING the dumping.
YOU'D rather be that guy, too, yes??
So let's stop "wrongful termination" in its tracks.
Remember that if you focus on ONE area of your connection with
women, you'll eliminate about 90% of all the issues you'll ever
run into.
That one area is ENERGY:
It's *the* ESSENTIAL ingredient of your game that creates MASSIVE
attraction with women - if you know how to use it.
ENERGY.
This is the one area that many guys think of as being the
"entertainer," or the life of the party, or Mr. Excitement.
Well, this isn't true. It's actually a technique that you apply
in different WAYS and at different TIMES.
Remember, a woman's definition of "romance" is the same as a
guy's. It's simply "FUN!"
Again:
A woman will NOT leave a man she doesn't feel like she's
completely WON.
******************************
SO HERE'S MY BIG QUESTION FOR YOU TODAY...
******************************
What if you find "HER" tomorrow??
You know... "THE ONE" for you.
Do you know what to do RIGHT FROM THE VERY START so you
don't LOSE her?
> Have you ever had a woman whose interest just started to
fizzle out slowly, and after a while she just stopped being
available - and then disappeared completely?
> Have you ever been dating some chick that you thought was
INCREDIBLE... but the drama was driving you up a wall? Or
she just started taking you for granted - like you were just
a walking wallet to her...?
> Have you had a girlfriend, only to have the sex slow down
and then grind to a complete HALT, and she eventually ends up
breaking up with you?
> Have you had to dump chick after chick because she was
either weird, crazy, or just plain boring to be around?
> Are you constantly disappointed by the women you meet - and
you want to know how to find the right one for you? Without
wasting days, months, YEARS with the wrong one?
You're not alone.
I've had ALL of these things happen to me, and over the years
I've coached thousands of guys with similar problems.
You meet a girl, things get going, and then for one reason
or another (you never figure out exactly why), it all comes
to an end.
And you know what else?
It's not your fault!
Women have been "TRAINING" guys from the very first date to
shape and "mold" you into the kind of boyfriend THEY think
they can wrap around their finger. And you probably had NO
idea it was happening to you!
Women have been training guys for years...
- You leave voicemail messages and then wait for hours for
a call back...
- She gets you to take her to dinners and watch "chick
flicks..."
- She rewards you with sex when you buy her jewelry or
gifts...
- You're the contestant on HER game show!
Why don't you turn it around like THIS:
- Get her to take YOU out for dinners...
- Have her calling you up to invite you over for a late-night
"booty call..."
- Get her to setup your "guys night out" at the strip club...
- Knowing for sure that she's ignoring any other guys that hit
on her, and telling them she's taken...
- Have her show up at your work bringing you lunch - and a
little gift she bought you...
Doesn't that sound much better to you?
It does to me.
_______________________________________________________
And wait! Check out my dating product reviews...loads of info on the latest PUAs and Dating Gurus there.
If you really liked the post, share it with others below.
No comments:
Post a Comment