Introduction
This was prepared a long time back by RSD.
Nothing whatsoever has changed about the fundamentals,
nor will they ever change. So, this list should serve
YOU well, too. It's the result of some hard-core
studying and experimentation... and also the input
from some of the best in the game. Enjoy.
RSD CHECKLIST POINT #1: VOICE TONALITY/DELIVERY
Aside from body language, this is probably the biggest
thing I see missing from most guys' game. The fact of
the matter is, YOU CAN'T BUILD ATTRACTION IF THEY CAN'T
HEAR YOU!!
You can't mumble and fumble your opener and expect to
get a good response. You need to project your voice
from the diaphragm. Five years of karaoke training have
made this second nature to me, but for a lot of guys,
it feels unnatural.
Furthermore, it's sometimes necessary to raise the
pitch of your voice in order to cut through the loud
music playing at most clubs. Don't be concerned about
sounding like a Chipmunks Christmas album, it's not
noticeable amidst the thumpng bass.
Your delivery is important, too. Ever heard a news
anchor flub a syllable on TV? It's minor, but because
it's on TV, it seems like a glaring error. It's the
same in pickup... you're being closely scrutinized, so
you need to eliminate all "ummms" and "ahhs" from your
vocabulary. SMOOTH.
Finally, start paying attention to the rhythm of your
communication. Rhythm, expression and sexuality are
all intertwined, and it's important to deliver a smooth
flow, modulating things dynamically.RSD CHECKLIST POINT #2: SMOOTHENING OUT/TOO JITTERY
So often, I see guys roll up to a set and deliver their
opener, then start making these weird, jerky head
movements. Like, they're having a friggin seizure. The
girls are like, WTF??
Or sometimes, it's weird, spastic hand gestures. Or
maybe they're just shifting from foot to foot
incessantly. In any case, it's not long before the
ladies start giving each other that "let's get the hell
out of here" eye code. Buh-bye!
The point is, these things are subcommunicating a lack
of confidence.
In other words, while your words might be those of a
suave-ass James Bond type, the subtext is that of Steve
Urkel.
Just take a deep breath, and relax. This ain't brain
surgery, Bucko.
RSD CHECKLIST POINT #3: BE MORE PLAYFUL
Another key one. This is related to #2, in the sense
that the perp is taking things way too seriously.
The difference is, in this case, the guy is acting
like he's an appointee for the Supreme Court being
interrogated by the Senate Judiciary Comittee. All
business. Stone-faced. Giving curt, matter of fact
responses to everything the chick says.
OK, what you gotta understand is that when the ladies
hit the club, they are there to HAVE FUN. Not to engage
in a job interview.
Loosen up, bro. Have a little fun yourself. Don't be
afraid to act a little foolish. Joke around.
BE PLAYFUL.
RSD CHECKLIST POINT #4: FOCUS ALL MENTAL ENERGY
What I mean by this is, you've gotta silence the
chatter in your head when you approach.
The only thing you should be thinking about is what's
unfolding as you go in. Not what MIGHT happen or what
COULD happen.
Consider this: a social interaction is a living,
breathing, dynamic thing during the course of which
an infinite number of things can occur.
Given that, doesn't it make sense that you'd need as
much "processor speed" as humanly possible in order to
perceive what's happening, decide what the proper
course of action is, and respond instantly?
Sure it does.
Cycling through failure scenarios in your head isn't
gonna do anything but rob you of that precious
brainpower.
Worse, that internal pollution is gonna taint the
broadcast: you will end up inadvertently giving off an
"insecure" vibe.
Don't do it!
RSD CHECKLIST POINT #5: FRAME CONTROL
Another thing that screws most people up at a
fundamental level is a lack of frame control.
Controlling the frame means controlling the context and
the direction of the conversation. Being commanding.
Too many guys will hear an unfavorable comment and just
deflate and give up. Or sometimes, the girls will say
something negative about them and they fall into it by
addressing it. The next thing you know, the discussion
is out of their control and they're faced with the
distasteful choice of either digging themselves out of
the hole, or giving up and ejecting.
At this point, most guys do the latter. Frankly, so
would I.
Best to prevent things from getting to that point in
the first place. That means cutting off threads that
work against you. That means talking over people who
are saying things that don't lead the conversation in
the ways you want it to go.
Sometimes, it means flagrantly changing the subject with
a ridiculous non-sequiter. Whatever works.
Frame control can be a difficult thing to learn, but I
can't stress this enough:
It's absolutely necessary.
RSD CHECKLIST POINT #6: MOVE THINGS FORWARD
Ever see that movie "Glengarry Glen Ross"? The motto of
the salesmen in the movie is "ABC: Always Be Closing".
This is the motto of the successful pick-up artist as
well.
Don't get me wrong here. I don't mean you should go up
to women and try to get them back to your place in the
shortest time possible. Don't jump the gun... you gotta
take things one step at a time. This isn't a race.
By the same token, however, I get frustrated when I see
guys talking to these girls for hours on end without
doing anything to escalate things toward a situation
where things get physical. Like, it's three hours in
and they haven't even touched her on the arm.
I think a big reason guys do this is because they're
afraid to get blown out. Like, they think, "Ok, this
is going great, she's laughing at my jokes and we're
vibing really well, I better not screw it up by trying
to escalate."
News flash, man... if they're sticking around, it's
highly likely that they know what's going on, and they
EXPECT you to escalate.
These girls have reasonable expectations that you're
gonna step up at some point and take things to the next
level. Don't let them down. It's just tacky.
Remember, once a girl's attracted to you, there's a
WINDOW of time in which you can "strike" so to speak.
Once that window's closed, you're done, bro.
Always have a direction, and always be moving the set
forward in that direction.
RSD CHECKLIST POINT #7: FACIAL EXPRESSIONS
This one kinda ties in with #3. It's about being
expressive.
At REAL SOCIAL DYNAMICS, we define game as: the expression of your
inner state, conveyed by the rhythms you use to direct
the energy of the social interaction.
Some of these guys I see in the field are talking to
the girls, and they look like a marble bust of George
Washington or something... maybe that "strong silent
type" bit works in cerrtain cases, but we're going for
consistency, folks.
When I'm interacting with women, I'm mugging like Jim
freakin Carrey.
Sometimes I'll have this stupid smirk on my face, other
times I'll look at them like I'm judging them, other
times I'll scrunch up my nose and wink at them. It all
depends on the energy I'm getting from the girl.
I calibrate and react accordingly. There are XXX
muscles in your face (I don't know, it's a really big
number), and these let you express an almost infinite
range of emotions.
Try it now. Go to the mirror and make as many faces as
you possibly can. Go ahead... nobody's looking. And if
they are, at least you'll entertain them.
OK, that's enough. You're scaring me.
I do this frequently as an exercise to keep those
expressions queued up and ready to go. Remember: 90
percent of communication is non-verbal, and a HUGE
portion of that 90 percent comes from the expression on
your face.
Trust me on this... it's gotten me laid more times than
RSD CHECKLIST POINT #8: STANDING TOO FAR AWAY
Similar to #6. Now, obviously, you don't want to spook
the girl by rolling up and getting two inches from her
face right off the bat. That's just asking for
rejection, it's creepy. You wanna approach with non-
threatening body language.
Maybe even a little "active disinterest". To show
you're not one of the dozens of needy losers that
hit on her every night.
BUT!
At some point, you have to get closer. It's just a fact.
Okay? Nothing is gonna happen if you stay at arm's
length... except get your ass thrown into the dreaded
"friend zone".
You gotta "cut in".
I'll usually get all up in their space as soon as I
know I've hooked them. That is, as soon as I know
they've stopped thinking, "Why is this guy talking to
me," and started thinking, "I hope this guy doesn't
stop talking to me."
This doesn't mean I have to STAY there. I'll back off
just as abruptly as I went in. It all goes back to
calibration. Give-and-take.
The point is, I get in there. ASAP. You should too.
RSD CHECKLIST POINT #9: PLAYING A CHARACTER
This is a funny one. You see this usually when a guy
has a lot of rehearsed lines and so forth under his
belt, although that's not exclusively the case.
What happens is the guy is saying things that SHOULD
sound smooth and cool... but it sounds like he's
reading from a script. Like, it's a little TOO cool.
Like an actor in an after-school special about cheesy
"players". Not pretty.
It's like, when you shoot a home video and you put on
some weird "narrator" voice... "And HEEEERE'S the
KITCHEN!!!" It's not genuine.
You do it because you know this might potentially be
viewed by thousands of people, and it's a defense
mechanism against being perceived in certain ways.
So when guys do this in field, it's the same thing. A
defense mechanism. They put out the character to
keep their "real" self safe fromo rejection.
Ironically, this tends to CAUSE rejection. Life sucks,
huh?
Believe it or not, most people (and especially women)
have a keen sense of when someone's faking sincerity.
Unless you're an acclaimed Shakesperean actor, you're
better off being genuine.
Conclusion
So that's the RSD CHECKLIST.
Now, I'm not suggesting you write this thing down and
carry it around with you. Nor is it meant to be
a comprehensive cure-all.
These are just some of the most common mistakes we see
guys make in the field, so take a quick inventory and
see if you're guilty of any of them.
For guys with a lot of experience, it may seem
simplistic... but no one will doubt that the basics
are what get violated the most.
Use this RSD CHECKLIST on yourself, until it becomes
second nature. And use it when you're doing triage on
someone else's sick game.
You'll be surprised how often the culprit behind a
problem is... the simplest thing in the world.
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