From The RSD Team -
*** QUESTION ***
Hi guys,
Most of the material I read seems to concentrate on extreme techniques for
getting with "10s" and such. They either have high self esteem or project
While that's awesome, I'm still interested in gaming girls who may not be
7+ on the rating scale and not high self esteem, not as quick on the social
scene. Many of these are science majors who don't get out much or girls
who used to be ugly as kids, so didn't get a chance to develop their social
skills and defenses,
like the 10s have.
They're still women and game is still required for picking them up,
though. Especially in non-club settings, I don't want to come on so intense,
they don't know what to do. I also know that more experienced girls have
more of an idealistic image of guys and relationships, so I'd like to take
that into consideration, without playing into a supplication role of course.
Thanks for your help,
Anthony
>>>>>> MY REPLY:
Dude, I took one look at this question and had to laugh. Out of the entire
RSD crew, I'm probably the one best-suited to field this particular query.
You see, I am notorious among the guys for "hooking up with fat chicks".
What can I say, I'm a sucker for the pretty eyes.
Whenever someone wants to bust my balls, they invariably fall back on
this; my predilection for the, shall we say, *voluptuous* girls.
Like, one of these chicks will be walking by and they'll sing out, "I wish I
had JEFFY'S GIIIIRRRL!!!" to the tune of Rick Springfield's song,
"Jesse's Girl".
Get the picture?
Now, don't get me wrong here, I've hooked up with models and strippers
before, women that were incredibly fit, etc. In fact, most of the time, these
types of girls are my targets, I get with them on a regular basis. After all,
as you mentioned, Anthony, the RSD game was originally *built* for the
high-calibre, seemingly unattainable women. It's not a question of ability.
It's just that, once in a while... ONCE IN A WHILE... I get a taste for
some of that Rubenesque action. About once a fiscal quarter, in fact. You
can almost set your watch to it.
What's the point of all this? Simple.
I know my buddies are gonna give me grief about it. I just DON'T CARE.
That's right. I simply do not care.
By being concerned about what others think of you, you create a gap
between the true "you" that lies at the core of your being and the persona
that you are projecting to the world.
For better or worse (usually worse), this affects how you come across.
Things seem unnatural, forced, awkward. There's a slight off-timing in the
delivery, something strange that the other person can't put their finger on,
but they know it's there.
For a person who is congruent, this is not the case. They are magnetic,
charismatic, etc. People are sucked into their reality, not the other way
around.
So many people run around trying to attain things that they are TOLD they
SHOULD want (by society, their peers, etc.), and they end up completely
neglecting the things THEY want.
If you want to get with a certain type of girl, whether she's old enough to
be your grandma, has a mohawk, purple and green spots all over her,
whatever. Go for it, regardless of what others
think.
Having said that, let me get to your question.
You are correct in your assertion that many of the tactics and techniques
espoused by RSD are tailored to women of high self-esteem with high
social value. That's not ENTIRELY the case, however.
Even a "10" as you call it can have insecurity issues, and as such, this is
something that needs to be taken into consideration every time you
approach a woman.
That's why we teach CALIBRATION as one of the fundamental pillars of
pickup.
During the course of a given interaction, you should be constantly
monitoring your relative value with regard to the target and adjusting your
tone accordingly to elicit the "autopilot response" you want.
What do I mean by this?
Think of your tone as a continuum. At one end, you have what we call
"trying for rapport" (TR). On the other end, you have "breaking rapport"
(BR). And somewhere in the middle there's "neutral rapport" (NR).
People will generally respond to these three different types of
communication in very predictable ways: they tend to chase BR, blow off
TR, and sit there indifferent to NR.
This is why we do things like teasing the girls and doing "takeaways"
where we walk off on a high note. These are "BR" behaviors that raise our
value in the eyes of the girls we are approaching. It takes us from "just the
next loser to hit on me" and puts us on equal footing. From there, it's game
on.
Now, with these lower self-esteem women, your perceived value is
*already* equal to or higher than hers before you even approach. If you go
in with these BR tactics, you're liable to crash and burn before you've even
begun.
I'll tell you a little story.
The other night, I'm at my favorite karaoke bar. I'm on stage singing Air
Supply, and I hit the 18-second note sustain at the end of "All Out of
Love" perfectly, I knock it out of the park.
So I get off stage. My friend Chuck indicates a few girls standing off to
the side. "Dude," he says, "these chicks LOVE you."
I look at them. They look okay, what you might call 7s. Whatever, I think,
there's nothing better here tonight, I got nothing better to do, what the hey.
So I start to approach them. One of the girls sees this and runs up to ME. I
high-five her, and hold onto her hand. She doesn't pull it away. I then give
her hand a squeeze, and she squeezes back. This is what we call "kino-
pinging", and it's a test to see how well things are going in a pickup. If
they reciprocate, you know it's ON.
So there I am, still holding hands with this girl, she's got a broad smile on
her face, and I haven't even said anything yet.
Is it on? Yeah, it's on.
So the first thing I say is a neutral opinion opener, then I tease her slightly
on her response. She drops my hand.
I start to run game, using my usual tactics. After a couple minutes of this,
she's not smiling anymore. I'm wondering what the heck is going on... I'm
executing picture-perfect game here.
Finally, I ask her, "So, what are you guys doing here?"
She blows up.
"WHY WOULD YOU ASK THAT? THAT'S A *RUDE* QUESTION!
OH MY GOD WHY WOULD YOU ASK THAT?!!"
I'm standing there in shock as the chick runs back to her friends and starts
gesticulating wildly, pointing in my direction. The karaoke host calls her
up to sing. She says, "NO!! NO! Not with THIS!!", pointing at me.
I try to explain. "I didn't mean anything, I just was wondering what
brought you to.."
"NO!!" she yells, "NO!! NO!" and she storms out of the bar. Her friends
look embarrassed and duly follow her out.
Now, let's examine what happened here.
She obviously misinterpreted my comment. My tone was not rude, I was
simply wondering how they came to be at the karaoke bar that particular
night.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being "excuse me miss, if I might ask you
perchance, what brings you and your esteemed friends to this lovely
establishment this particular evening, if I may be so bold as to inquire,
please thank you?" and 10 being "psssh... what the hell are YOU doing
here? (look of disdain)", my tone was like a 7, TOPS.
Slightly cocky maybe. Nothing to warrant that response, certainly.
It didn't matter. I was poorly calibrated.
The girl was low self-esteem to begin with. Add that to the fact that I had
just displayed MASSIVE value by my superb karaoke performance, with
the crowd cheering and applauding on their feet, and my *perceived*
value to this girl shoots through the roof.
Now, I come in with this smug, arrogant attitude, busting her chops?
Not gonna work. By gaming her in the same way I would game a 9, I
ended up vaporizing what little there was of her ego, and blowing myself
out.
I went home alone, pissed off at myself. If I had just calibrated properly
and toned it down from a 7 to a 4, I would have gotten laid.
So, in summary, when you encounter these types of girls, the best way to
proceed is to first calibrate what your value is relative to hers, then make
adjustments to bring yourself down to her level.
Otherwise, the chick is sitting there thinking, "This guy's a player. It's
obvious. If I sleep with this guy, he'll never call me again. Why is he even
talking to ME in the first place?"
The game you spit is the same, the difference lies in the TONE you
employ. You can say the same thing in all three tonalities: BR, NR, and
TR.
With the lower-value girls, I tend to stick with TR. This means (limited)
compliments, asking her a lot of questions even before the rapport stage,
and lowering my own value by talking about my insecurities. Note here
that I don't talk about lame-ass insecurites like, "I wet my bed." Instead, I
might say something like, "I'm afraid I won't reach my potential."
In a lot of respects, gaming these girls takes a lot MORE effort than
gaming a "9". When you approach a 9, that qualification switch is already
pre-flipped, eliminating the need for all this aforementioned nonsense.
Why deal with it at all, unless it's the only thing in the bar?
Consider this: are you going for these "lesser-quality" chicks because you
actually prefer them? Or is it a defense mechanism to rationalize feelings
of fear or undeservedness when it comes to approaching the hotter girls?
Don't get me wrong: I'm not trying to be confrontational or offensive. It's
just that I used to have the same problem.
I live in San Francisco. Back when I was starting out in the game and
wasn't having much success, I used to say, "There are no hot chicks in San
Francisco. It's not like L.A."
The funny thing is, once I had gotten with a few elite-quality girls, I
started to notice them EVERYWHERE. The whole time, I was fooling
myself in order to justify my fears.
Maybe I'm off-base here. But think about it.
_______________________________________________________
And wait! Check out my dating product reviews...loads of info on the latest PUAs and Dating Gurus there.
If you really liked the post, share it with others below.
No comments:
Post a Comment