This post is going to be succinct and thought provoking. Pay attention!
I was pondering over something today. Over a few days, I was just thinking what makes a woman attracted to you. Is your showing tail-wagging interest in her or creating a big ‘ice’ wall of china that blocks your penis from reaching her vagina? Okay, I know I’m getting a bit poetic here but just think about it, all you students of the art of pick up women, particularly those who have been studying it for over six months.
How are you going to attract 'em? Are you going to be that ‘cold and tough’ Clint Eastwood or the ‘easy and smiling’ Leonardo D’ Caprio of Titanic? I’ve always been in some confusion regarding this thing. To be very honest, I have a warm and friendly personality but I noticed something that when I acted arrogant and silent, I scored. And yes, this is the problem with quite a good many people, even with some quite advanced PUAs. They try to look hard and tough and don’t react, no facial expression that is. They think they are looking attractive yet no woman comes to them. This baffles them.
I’m going to clarify a few basic aspects on vibe and expression during the initial stages. But before that I want you to go and check out how the famous PUAs approach women in the links below:
Documentary of Pick Up Scene In UK
Alex Coulson - Pick Up video
David De Angelo on Picking Up Women in Bars and Clubs
A Random Video I found on the Web
You will see one common and IMPORTANT thing in all of them: They are RELAXED and they look POSITIVE. By the word ‘positive’, I mean they are oozing out a typical warm and friendly vibe.
Let’s dissect it and delve into it further. Let’s find out what attracts women. I’ve always thought hard on this specific topic. Who is that man that enlivens up the whole femininity inside a woman when he comes in front of that woman? Listen and remember it for the rest of your life, women feel ‘that thing’ when they see the right man, just as a man feels when he comes in front of the right woman. It’s because we are all sexual animals still and we have a primal part of the brain that still controls how we react to the opposite sex. We may excogitate the quantum theory (pardon me, all you physics buddies!) with the right side of your brain, but that’s not going to make you the ladies-man you want to be. It as yet still is out of your logical control!
Hence, we want to be THAT MAN. But how is that man? Is he ‘strong and silent’ type or the ‘easy and funny’ type? Two things I want to make clear: STRONG doesn’t mean he needs to be bulky and FUNNY doesn’t mean he needs to be goofy. Strong just means he gives off a tough, unresponsive vibe, while funny is just the upbeat lighthearted one.
And the secret to being THAT MAN is being in the optimum equilibrium between the both extreme ends.
Why? Let’s see it from a girl’s point of view. If you act too sexual and difficult right from the onset, she will feel a kind of pressure and she’ll not play along. But if you are too easy with her and she doesn’t feel any tension, she isn’t going to feel ‘that thing’ for you. She wants someone as will make her feel comfortable and protected when she’s with her but will keep her on the edge as well. She wants peace with a difficult character! So, the best way to approach her is to give her the hint of peace yet being a tension to her. She wants to keep working to solve that tension, that conflict and that she FALLS IN LOVE with you.
If you give her too much conflict and danger without any pleasure, she is going to be pushed away completely. If you give her too much pleasure right away without her asking for it, she won’t feel the need and desire for it and thus, there’s no attraction. Good salespersons know the secret, Pleasure with Pain. And that’s the essence of flirting (find articles on that here).
When you approach, smile and comply to make her feel comfortable but tease her and break rapport to make her feel the danger. When you are into the initial stages, give her signs that you like her (any forward motion creates tension) yet pull back, keeping the things at a comfortable though. Call her up and let her know how it is going with you, making her feel comfortable and pulling her in. Instantly, mix it up with talking about another girl (jealousy plotline) and an open hook (I hope you know the meaning of it!). Give to her but not too much. Keep her wanting more.
So, be warm and positive but not too much about her (pull her in, comfort) yet keep the relaxed, mysterious feel but not too much about you (push her away, let her come to you).
It’s the RIGHT BALANCE that matters.
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